TAMPA, Fla. — A new report from Common Sense Media explores how teens across the U.S. engage with or experienced pornography online along with other factors which led to its exposure.
Altogether, the organization says its findings confirm the point that it's time for people to talk about porn and need to have conversations with teens about it.
According to survey results, nearly three in four teens (73%) said they were exposed to porn either accidentally or on purpose. 15% reported they were 10 or younger, 54% reported they were 13 or younger and 73% reported they were 17 or younger – with 12 being the average age when children first consumed porn.
When asked if they came across online pornography on purpose or accidentally, 15% said on purpose, 29% said on accident and 29% said both on accident and purpose.
Out of the data collected, more than half of the teens reportedly said they "had seen violent and/or aggressive pornography, including media that depicts what appears to be rape, choking, or someone in pain."
Less than half of the teens surveyed talked about porn with a trusted adult – 51% saying the conversation actually "encouraged [them] to think about ways to explore sex or [their] sexuality other than porn."
"The findings reported here suggest that many teens view pornography (accidentally and on purpose), learn from pornography, and are exposed to harmful stereotypes and violent sexual content through pornography," the report concluded. "Combined with other research suggesting negative effects, there is enough evidence to suggest that robust strategies should be in place to address likely viewing."
The Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds broke down some tips on how to talk with children about pornography:
1. Regardless of your approach, leave shame out of the discussion. Mixing shame with sexual curiosity is almost always a ticket to unwanted results. If your child feels ashamed of his or her own curiosity and drives, then you are very unlikely to hear from your child when there’s real trouble.
2. If you are comfortable with the discussion, approach the issue before it’s an issue. Keep the computer in a public area when your children are younger, and let them know that there is content online that you’d rather they not see. There are internet blocking programs (so-called parental controls), and while many of these work moderately well at keeping the internet kid-friendly, no system is full-proof. That means that in very concrete terms, you should tell your child something like this: “If you come upon a site that feels inappropriate, please tell me.” For most kids, that’s enough. They know what inappropriate means, and they’ll still want access to their online games. There’s certainly a lot of worthwhile stuff on the computer, so telling your kids to let you know if they stumble onto something that doesn’t feel right usually does the trick.
3. If your child does find his or her way into some tawdry material, talk about it. Say something like this: “That material is designed for adults and not for children. I’m sorry that it showed up on the computer, and we’ll work to block that and other sites like it. Do you have any questions?” You can take it from there. Remember that it’s always OK with younger kids to say that this is something you’ll discuss more with them when they’re older.
4. For older kids who might have computers, smartphones, or tablets in their rooms, you can only do so much. If you notice the cardinal signs of unhealthy internet use—skipping meals, staying up late, locking the door and offering obfuscated explanations for online behavior—you ought to talk. You especially ought to talk if you find evidence (such as a search history) that your child has visited pornographic sites. Again, this discussion should happen without shame. Say something like: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been spending a lot of private time on the internet, and it looks like from the history that you’ve visited some adult sites. I want to make sure you understand some important aspects of these sites, and the risks associated with this material.” You should then go on to stress that the computer itself becomes tagged in the cyber world once pornographic sites have been visited. Servers become “aware” of where a computer has been. That can lead to unwanted, even dangerous, attention paid to those who use that computer.
View the full Common Sense Media report here.
