SARASOTA, Fla. — Whether it is through a car crash or fire accident, gun violence, substance abuse or COVID-19, many children have experienced the trauma of losing of a loved one.
But a new grief counseling program has opened its doors to help kids heal and cope better.
With more than $30,000 from donors like from Charles & Margery Barancik Foundation and the Community Foundation of Sarasota, Tidewell Hospice has expanded its Blue Butterfly program into Newtown.
The program is housed at the Bethlehem Baptist Church at 1680 18th St., Sarasota, and has already begun impacting families in the community.
"Back in December 2020, my sister passed away in a car accident, she left behind three boys, they are ten, six and three," said Brittley Mayes of Sarasota.
Mayes who is a longtime resident of the Newtown community went from being an aunt to the mother of her sister Shauntavia White's children.
"We have always been close, me and the boys, so I knew when she passed away, I would be getting custody of the boys," Mayes said.
Mayes said her nephews struggled to cope with their mom's death and she noticed behavioral changes in them which concerned her, especially the oldest.
"He wanted his mom and he was just hurting and I could see it, i heard it and he broke down just crying one day. There were certain things that I knew that were beyond me that I knew I couldn't help make them understand," Mayes said.
She said she recognized the changes because she too had experienced them when she lost her parents at a young age and struggled with her grief. She said it was something she didn't want to adversely affect the children and was prompted to start looking into getting the boys into a counselling program.
Researchers at University of Texas, Austin say Black children are three times more likely to lose a mother than white children. According to the Tidewell Foundation, in Manatee, Sarasota, Charlotte and DeSoto counties, one in 13 children will lose one or both parents before they turn 18. This leaves them at an increased risk for depression, anxiety, truancy, eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, and even suicide.
That's why the foundation through it's Blue Butterfly program is now bringing help to kids in Newtown. Newtown is one of the Sarasota's oldest historically African American communities.
Specialists and volunteers would provide free grief support for children ages 5 to18 as well as their caregivers.
The services would be similar to those currently being provided at its Lakewood Ranch Center.
"For many family transportation is a barrier to get to the station, we sat back and said where do we need to go what community can benefit," said Debbie Mason, President, Tidewell Foundation.
"The Tidewell Foundation is grateful to Charles & Margery Barancik Foundation for investing in Tidewell Hospice's efforts to create more opportunities for children and families in Newtown to find light and healing during some of the darkest days of their lives. The incredible generosity of Tidewell Foundation donors allows crucial programs like Tidewell's Blue Butterfly to provide comfort and care for those who need it most, all at no cost," Mason said.
The community too has been impacted by losses during the pandemic and such losses leave many young ones at high risk for depression, anxiety, substance abuse and even suicide
"We really started heavy outreach during COVID to the Newtown area to reach traditionally underserved populations in partnership with several other non-profits and out goal was to provide education about safety measures and pass out masks and help people get vaccinated," Mason said.
"So we know from our work in the community and the churches work in the community, that COVID hits traditionally underserved populations like African-Americans, like Spanish language, Latin-X families. So we are anticipating, as the program grows over the next years to see more families join us," she said.
"We wanted to just be there as a resource so that no one has to grieve alone. So once families find that out, they are more willing to participate and they feel OK this person gets me," Danielle Visone, Director, Blue Butterfly Family Grief Center.
"As a leader in our community for over 100 years, the Bethlehem congregation is excited to welcome Blue Butterfly to our Church and the Newtown community," said the Rev. Patrick A. Miller, Pastor of Bethlehem Bible Church. "We believe that this partnership will provide families struggling with the loss of a loved one the support and resources necessary to find peace and wholeness in their lives," said Rev. Miller.
Tidewell's Blue Butterfly Newtown program sessions at Bethlehem Bible Church will hold bi-monthly on the first and third Wednesday of every month from 5:30-7:30 p.m. Enrollment is required to attend a meeting. If you or someone you know needs these services, you can call 941-893-6610 to set up an intake assessment or visit tidewellhospice.org/home/programs/grief-support/blue-butterfly.
Tidewell Hospice is also actively recruiting volunteers to support the Blue Butterfly Newtown program. Volunteers must be 18 years or older and should have previous experience working with children, a basic knowledge of grief and the ability to volunteer twice a month from 4:30-8:30 p.m. If you're interested in volunteering with Blue Butterfly and receiving training to help grieving families, please contact Sue Forbes at Sforbes@tidewell.org or call 941-441-2061.
Tidewell Hospice's not-for-profit grief and bereavement services are 100 percent donor-supported through contributions to the Tidewell Foundation and offered for free to members of our community, whether or not their loved one was a Tidewell patient. To support Tidewell's Blue Butterfly Newtown program and expansion efforts elsewhere in our region, visit tidewellfoundation.org or call 941-552-7546.